The Theory of Chaos

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin' slippin'

One of the great things about writing is that you can use it to explain away weird things. Say, for example, you have an anecdote about going to a particular website. Now, for most people telling this anecdote, they'd never get to the end, because their audience would be too busy exclaiming "Wait, what website were you on? Why the hell were you on that website to begin with?"


So I'm on
the homepage for the U.S. Atomic Clock (Because I'm writing a novel). And I think bureaucra-speak is one of the humor treasures of the English language, so when their "About this Service" page leads off with "This public service is cooperatively provided by the two time agencies of the United States...", I'm already getting the giggles, since I doubt any of those muddy third-world countries even have ONE time agency, much less two. !Viva Democracy!

But the absolute highlight of the page is the bottom, where they provide an e-mail address for people with questions or comments. Leaving aside the number of drunk college students who probably e-mail them asking "
What time is it?", you wouldn't think too many people would need detailed trouble-shooting with the flow of time. But right there after the address, it says: "However, due to the volume of email we receive, we cannot always respond to each one individually."

I'm almost desperate with the urge to e-mail them and ask "
How many e-mails do you actually get, and what in the world are they about?" They would probably think I'm either crazy or just mocking them. But then I'd reply...

I'm writing a novel.


  • "Dear Sirs,

    Do you have an employee named Sam Lowry by any chance?"

    By Anonymous Mike De Luca, at 9:38 AM  

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