The Theory of Chaos

Monday, April 07, 2008

And how will I feel about today when I'm 33?

I looked back through some older movie reviews today, the ones I wrote in 2004/05 when I first started making a habit out of writing up whatever I saw. I'm reviewing 10,000 B.C. right now, and wanted to remember what I had to say about The Day After Tomorrow, and I carried on reminiscing from there. I don't know why this surprised me, since it happens with everything I write, but I feel embarrassed by those reviews now. It's not that they are bad, especially when compared with the ditzy half-assery I used to write in college, but I can see where I've improved, and now to have this available evidence of an earlier developmental stage makes me squirmy inside.

I'm glad it has happened, because I
want to keep growing as a writer and a critic, but I feel this irrational urge for whatever talent I have now to retroactively wash over my back catalog. And then when I check in and see that this hasn't happened, I get very disappointed in my past self.

2 Comments:

  • I am reminded of Stanley Kubrick's efforts to suppress "Fear and Desire". I caught it on Youtube, and I am glad he did not succeed in erasing it from history. While older works may not be as good in one's estimation, I find the memories surrounding them sometimes are. Happy birthday, Nick.

    By Anonymous Mike De Luca, at 7:10 AM  

  • I haven't yet seen Fear and Desire. My Kubrick chronography only goes back to Killer's Kiss, which is a remarkably-photographed but deeply silly curio. By The Killing, though, man had the genius ever kicked in.

    By Blogger Nick, at 2:18 PM  

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